OK….this week has been really tough. I have been trucking along feeling pretty strong lately and then this week came along. This day, May 5, Cinco de Mayo, would have been our 16th wedding anniversary. I keep looking at your picture and talking to you and saying how amazing it is that we have been married for 16 years. I know, I sound crazy. But I talk to your picture all the time. Our wedding was “one for the books”….at least I thought it was. The weather was beautiful, even with that small shower that came through late in the day. We were married at a manor home in Sandy Spring. Woodlawn Manor. I have taken the kids there to walk around and see where their mom and dad said their “I do’s”. I took pictures. I cried a little….ok, a lot. That was one of the most happiest days of my life, you know. I was a lucky girl. We served beer and wine….Corona being the beer of choice because, you know, it was Cinco de Mayo. The magic of the horse drawn carriage that took my dad and me from their house to the manor home. Coming up the drive and having the horses on either side of the driveway in the fields gallop up to the fence and follow along up with us….it was breathtaking. I felt like a princess. And you, my prince, waiting for me as I fought with my veil that wouldn’t cooperate because of the wind just before walking down the isle on the arm of Dad. Happy memories. They still make be smile and chuckle.
You and I met back in 1989. In a trailer in Gaithersburg (the building was new and not finished so they brought in trailers). We were both training to be servers at a new restaurant there called Pat and Mike’s. We even had a hand in staining the grand staircase just before the restaurant’s grand opening. We made so many amazing friends there. Many of them we kept in touch with for years and still do to this day. It was a great and amazing group of people, that first staff. I still love them all. Many of them came out for your service and organized an amazing tailgate in the parking lot of the church, all of us wearing our Redskins shirts and someone thought to bring a case of Heineken of which we each had one, toasting you. We released balloons, burgundy and gold and a few white ones with your name on them (I know….that’s not a great thing to do environmentally…don’t give us crap for that) but somehow….seeing them rise up to the heavens made me think they would definitely reach you and make you smile. We even joked when a few of them stuck in the tree up high and cheered when eventually the wind allowed them to untangle and float again upward. I’ll always cherish that memory and those that were there with me.
You were handsome and devilish, back then (and still were up until you left) and definitely had a way with the ladies. I was lucky enough to catch your attention somehow. We flirted through many shifts at the restaurant. Then we actually dated for a few months. Both of us young and care free. I saw, even back then, how amazing you were.
I went to New York for school and was gone 5 years and we each had life experiences of our own but somehow when I came back down to Maryland, we managed to find each other again. That’s pretty amazing. I was actually engaged to someone when I came back and he was definitely not good for me. My friends and family helped me see that and even you had told me once that “If you marry that jerk, you won’t be happy.” Well of course you were right and thank goodness I saw that before I made the mistake.
A year later we picked up from where we had left off 6 years prior.
I will never regret that….you made me very happy. You were my best friend. My best lover. My confidant. My jokester. The one I could be goofy with…… I miss all that so very much. I miss you so much. We made so many wonderful memories that I will always hold close to my heart.
Happy Anniversary honey. I know you are watching over us and someday I will be able to celebrate WITH you again.
Until then, please help us to be ok and keep an eye on things from up there.
I love you.