Our 16 year Anniversary

OK….this week has been really tough. I have been trucking along feeling pretty strong lately and then this week came along. This day, May 5, Cinco de Mayo, would have been our 16th wedding anniversary. I keep looking at your picture and talking to you and saying how amazing it is that we have been … [Read more…]

Spring again

Wow. It’s been a really long time since my last post. I really wanted to do a “one year” post but I haven’t been able to muster up the words because sometimes it feels like forever and then sometimes it still feels like you were here not that long ago and I don’t know how … [Read more…]

Reflecting about joy

This description of grief is so very close to the reality of it. As I have said before….I’m really not looking forward to the holiday season this year. I feel super anxious more and more as we get closer. It’s just a really painful reminder. I was in a store the other day and rounded … [Read more…]

Contacts and other stuff

  An old friend of yours texted me today. He was asking how we were doing and he also said that he deleted your contact info from his phone today and it struck him really hard.  I know he didn’t mean it to but that really hit me hard also. I had just pulled into … [Read more…]

9 Months

Wow…..it’s been 9 months already. The weather is starting to get colder and the closer it gets to December, they more anxious I feel. I haven’t written a blog post in a long time. It’s hard to come back to. I still feel the giant waves crash over me but they are further apart than they were … [Read more…]

4 Months

Tomorrow will be 4 months. It’s really hard to believe. I already feel like it’s been a lifetime ago. My heart has been hurting every day and makes the days really drag out sometimes. But it’s still really fresh as well. So hard wrapping my head around all that has happened still. My brain quickly … [Read more…]


Easter came and went. Another first holiday without you. I know there will be many more this year all cumulating to the big holiday that will be extremely hard for us at the end of the year. I dread that. This year at our Easter Vigil service at church, we had Deacon Terry visit and … [Read more…]

3 Months

So Saturday marks three months. One quarter of a year. I have been trying to keep my head down and stay focused. I’ve grown accustomed to small outbursts of crying when I’m by myself. It’s strange because I don’t seem able to cry in public much anymore. I don’t feel like sharing my grief. It’s … [Read more…]

Seasons Change

I’m pretty much assuming that this will be the last snow fall of the season. I, like most others, am excited for the warmer weather and being able to open the windows of the house and air it out of all the stuffiness that has accumulated since it started getting cold in the fall. To … [Read more…]